Depression After Your Hysterectomy

It's been three weeks since my hysterectomy, and I'm feeling pretty good... physically. Emotionally? Well, that's another story. In my head, I'm perfectly okay with my surgery: I'm looking forward to life without pain and periods. I'm even (mostly) okay with the idea that I'll never have more children. So why am I feeling so weepy?

Everything is making me cry. I read about hysterectomy; I cry. My daughter says something sweet; I cry. I hear a song on the radio; I cry. My doctor tells me I'm brave to have made this decision; I cry. I see a dog food commercial; I cry. Okay, maybe the dog food thing is an exaggeration, but not by much. I can't even explain the tears... there is no logical reason for it. But, is it normal?

It seems there are many possible reasons for the weepiness:

  • I'm not sleeping
  • I'm frustrated that I can't do so many of the things I'm used to doing
  • My hormones are a little out of whack
  • I'm caught off guard by my large, swollen belly
  • Hysterectomy is, by nature, an emotional surgery and it takes time to sort out the feelings
  • The body has been through trauma, and complete healing takes time
  • There is a bit of confusion over the exact cause of my pre-hysterectomy bleeding and, by extension, the surgery itself

At this point in the game, we're going on the assumption that this slight depression is a normal by-product of my hysterectomy. My doctor prescribed sleeping pills and mild anti-anxiety pills. He is also checking my hormone levels. Since I'm also having night sweats and hot flashes, there is a possibility that my hormone levels are off. We're going to give it some time.



Warning Signs


Although it's normal to be a bit down after hysterectomy, the blues can become full-blown depression, and depression needs to be treated. You must contact your doctor if:

  • You are having thoughts of suicide or wishing for death
  • Your sadness makes it impossible for you to function on a daily basis
  • Your sadness doesn't lessen over time. Definitely talk to your doctor if you are still feeling depressed beyond six weeks post-op.
  • You are having thoughts of violence
  • You are experienceing feelings of rage

Remember, there is no shame in being depressed. Depression is often caused by hormone or chemical imbalances, and it can be treated. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to seek treatment. You deserve to be happy!

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

How Should the Hysterectomy Site Look?

When I was released from the hospital two days post-hysterectomy, I thought I knew what to look for. The nurse explained that the incision site would turn slightly red, but that the redness should not extend more than 1/8 inch from the incision itself. So, I felt pretty confident in my ability to care for my incision, and I went on my way. That confidence lasted all of two days!

On one of my husband's nightly incision checks (because I couldn't see it over my swollen belly!), he nervously said, "It's yellow! And there are purple marks all over the place!" Yellow? Purple? Those colors weren't mentioned in my discharge papers, and panic set in. I was convinced I had some strange, unheard of infection or that my mega-doses of Motrin and Darvocet had destroyed my liver. I called the nurse and was immediately reassured.

Turns out, abdominal hysterectomy is a pretty brutal surgery. The doctor cuts through many layers. Ligaments and blood vessels are cut away from the uterus. Organs are moved and rearranged. Blood vessels are tied off. The top of the vagina is stitched. With all the cutting, moving, tying, and stitching, it's inevitable that some bruising and discoloration will occur. Some blood vessels will undoubtedly be broken. Just like any other bruising, these bruises must go through the normal healing process, and that involves changing colors: red, black, purple, and yellow. Some people bruise more easily than others, and the bruising shows more vividly on light-skinned people. Have I mentioned that I'm pale as a ghost?


Normal Signs


  • Bruising
  • Slight numbness around the incision
  • Slight burning of the skin surrounding the incision (I felt this around my belly button, too)
  • A hard, jagged ridge forming along the incision (this will eventually recede)
  • Swollen tummy


Warning Signs


Still, the possibility of infection and other complications does exist, so you should learn the warning signs. Call your doctor if you notice:
  • Pus draining from the incision site
  • Fever of 101 degree F or higher
  • Abdominal pain that does not improve with pain medication
  • Dizziness
  • Persistent headache
  • Vomiting
  • Burning with urination
  • Muscle aches
  • Redness extending more than 1/8 inch from the incision

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Start a Hobby Post-Hysterectomy

Face it-- you've got free time on your hands after a hysterectomy, lots and lots of free time. Yes, you'll be walking-- to the kitchen, to the bathroom, and, soon, around the neighborhood. Still, that time on your feet will be interspersed with tons of time off your feet. Sure, you could use that time checking out Victor's latest exploits on Young and the Restless (okay, so maybe I checked out a few episodes). You could use it watching Lifetime movie marathons. Or, you could use it to learn a new hobby! I, personally, am using my free time to learn about blogging. Here are a few other things you could try:

Reading & Writing



  • Writing poetry
  • Writing articles
  • Writing letters
  • Learning calligraphy
  • Reading
  • Journaling
  • Word finds
  • Crossword puzzles

Internet Hobbies



  • Blogging
  • Facebooking
  • MySpace
  • Learning web design

Paper & Photo Crafts



  • Scrapbooking
  • Rubberstamping
  • Card making
  • Painting
  • Drawing
  • Collaging
  • Organizing photo albums
  • Origami

Flower Crafts



  • Potpourri
  • Flower arranging
  • Making wreaths

Fabric & Yarn Crafts



  • Dollmaking
  • Knitting
  • Embroidery
  • Quilting
  • Cross stitch
  • Needlepoint
  • Crocheting
  • Sewing
  • Weaving
  • Making potholders (simple kits for kids are great for beginners)

Bath & Beauty Crafts



  • Nail design
  • Making bath salts
  • Jewelry making
  • Beading

Games



  • Chess
  • Checkers
  • Cards
  • Dominoes
  • Video Games

Have I missed something? Leave me a comment with your favorite post-hysterectomy hobby, and I'll add it to the list!

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Connect With Others Who've Had Hysterectomy

When I was considering having hysterectomy, I turned to one friend above everyone else. Not because she's smarter or kinder or a better listener (although she is smart, kind, and understanding), but because she's been there. She had a hysterectomy at a young age, for similar reasons... and she lived to tell about it! Even better, she's living a quality life now, far better than before the surgery. Without her support and her story, I might never have been able to face this surgery.

If you don't actually know anyone in real life who has had a hysterectomy, turn to the internet. There is a wonderful community of women online, all sharing their experiences. Friendships form fast in these forums, and the support is invaluable. I urge you to jump out there and take part in a hysterectomy forum! Here are some to try:


  • Hyster Sisters. This is a wonderful resource! If you visit only one hysterectomy site (besides this one, of course), it should be Hyster Sisters. You'll find articles, a store, and a warm, closeknit forum.
  • Hyster Hangout. Hyster Hangout features a message board of women facing hysterectomy, as well as women who have already had surgery.
  • Hysterectomy Recovery Room. This forum is in its infancy, and there are few posts. While this might not be the best place to go for advice, it could be excellent if you're looking for a smaller, more intimate community.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Hysterectomy Glossary

When it comes to hysterectomy, there is a whole other language, and knowing the key terms is essential. Seriously, it could save your life... or your ovaries! When I went in for my pre-op visit, the surgical orders stated, "tah w/ bso". Hold up! No, no definite bso here. I was able to get the word "possible" added in, and ended up saving my ovaries! So, you see, knowing the key terms can be pretty freaking helpful!

  • Bilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy (bas): Surgical removal of both fallopian tubes and ovaries.
  • Cervix: The mouth of the uterus; a narrow canal that opens to the vagina.
  • Complete Hysterectomy: Also called total hysterectomy, complete hysterectomy is the removal of the entire uterus, including the cervix.
  • Laparoscopic Supracervical Hysterectomy (LSH): A hysterectomy which removes the uterus, but leaves the cervix, and is performed through three small incisions.
  • Hysterectomy: Hysterectomy is the surgical removal of the uterus. There are many different types of hysterectomies and different ways of performing the surgery.
  • Partial Hysterectomy: Partial hysterectomy is also called subtotal hysterectomy. It is removing part of the uterus, but leaving the cervix intact.
  • Oophorectomy: Surgical removal of one or both ovaries.
  • Radical Hysterectomy: Normally performed on women with cancer, radical hysterectomy removes the uterus, cervix, ovaries, fallopian tubes, lymph nodes, lymph channels, part of the vagina, and surrounding tissues.
  • Supracervical Hysterectomy: Another name for partial hysterectomy.
  • Surgical Menopause: Menopausal symptoms brought on adruptly by the surgical removal of the ovaries.
  • Swelly Belly: A term coined by Hyster Sisters to describe the swollen abdomen many women have following hysterectomy.
  • Total Abdominal Hysterectomy (tah): Removal of the uterus and the cervix through an incision in the abdomen.
  • Vaginal Hysterectomy: Surgical removal of the uterus through an incision in the vagina.

Even Moms Mourn After Hysterectomy

If one more person tells me that I have three kids, I will scream. The implication is, of course, that I have kids, so I shouldn't care that I no longer have a uterus. It is so frustrating! Yes, I have kids. Yes, I'm thrilled about that. Yes, my family was probably complete. But, the possibility existed, the possibility of more children. Just knowing that I could dream about it... I could fantasize sometimes about having a son or another beautiful daughter... I could hold a baby and think, "someday..."

Now, I know there will never be another someday for me. My somedays are dead and gone, nothing but sweet memories, a precious time that passed so quickly. I'll never again snuggle an infant of my own, I'll never again experience the life-giving thrill of nursing my own flesh and blood. Never again...

Although people act like I'm nuts, that's a real loss for me and I'm mourning it. Faulty or not, that uterus nurtured and grew my daughters, and now it's gone. So, if one more person tells me, "So what if you lost your uterus? You weren't using it anyway!" I just might have to reply, "So, why don't you give up your heart? You clearly aren't using it!"

Reasons to Have an Abdominal Hysterectomy

When I first seriously discussed hysterectomy with my doctor, I was astonished when he said total abdominal hysterectomy would be his method of choice. With all the less invasive versions available today, such as the Da Vinci, vaginal, or laproscopic, the abdominal surgery seems positively primitive! The incision is larger, the hospital stay is longer, and the recovery period is more painful. Turns out, there are actually reasons for some women to have the old-fashioned abdominal hysterectomy, though.

When I asked my doctor why he wouldn't do the surgery vaginally, he told me, "I'm not going to pull your uterus out through your vagina just to prove I can." He went on to explain that the possibility of damage to the bladder, urinary tract, blood vessels, and surrounding organs is significantly higher in vaginal hysterectomy than in the traditional abdominal method.

In addition, abdominal hysterectomy is preferred in cases of severe endometriosis. In these cases, the surgeon needs to be able to fully explore the ovaries, bowels, and surrounding organs to ensure that all the endo has been removed. This helps prevent recurrence.

Other times abdominal surgery may be needed include:

*Other need for abdominal exploration
*Enlarged uterus
*Cancer
*Obese patients
*Large fibroids

In the end, only you and your doctor can decide on the correct method for you. Whatever you decide, good luck!


After Hysterectomy, I'm Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving! The day would not be complete without a list of things I'm thankful for, so here goes:

1. My husband... he has been so supportive and loving through this ordeal, insisting I stay off my feet as much as possible (like I'm going to argue with that!)

2. My kids... they've been good through this, too (for the most part), keeping their fighting, "Mama, she started it!", and daily drama to a minimum.

3. My Swelly Belly... it came in the mail today and it's sooooooo great.

4. My doctor's skillful hands...

5. God for guiding my doctor's hands.

6. The makers of Darvocet for getting me through the first days post-op.

7. The mind's ability to forget... I barely recall those first moments after surgery.

8. Sweat pants, tee shirts, and loose nightgowns... you can never have too many comfy clothes post-op.

9. My heating pad... we've spent many quality hours together this year.

10. That I get to work at home, doing what I love.

11. That I have children at all... with my infertility troubles, I really never thought I'd be blessed with kids.

12. The days ahead, pain- and period-free.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

On My Mind Post-Hysterectomy

Now that I'm approaching two weeks post-op, I have lots of questions. Actually, I'm having trouble even sleeping, there's so much on my mind! Here are just a few of the things I finding myself pondering at 2am:

1. Will I ever have a semi-normal looking belly again?
2. Will these hot flashes continue?
3. Will I need hormone therapy despite keeping my ovaries?
4. Am I still a "real" woman?
5. Will I still desire sex?
6. Will orgasms feel the same?
7. What will sex without pain be like?
8. Will be husband desire me now that I'm "incomplete"?
9. Since I still have my ovaries and will, in theory, still ovulate, will I have PMS?

Things I Wish I Had Known Before Hysterectomy

There are so many things I wish I'd known before surgery. I'm learning new things each and every day. Here are just a few:

1. Even though I chose this surgery, there will be moments I will grieve-- painfully-- for my uterus.

2. In moments like that, I'll feel like curling up in a ball and bawling... but I won't be able to... pain prevents me from getting in that position!

3. Surgery proves who cares... and who doesn't.

4. God really does have a weird sense of humor. This is illustrated by the fact that I now look six months pregnant.

5. The incision really is way down in the nether regions and it really is healing nicely. Just as promised, my doctor has left me totally worthy of sexy lingerie... well, except for the bloated tummy, jiggly thighs.... oh, never mind!

6. Abdominal surgery leaves you constipated... very, very constipated.

7. You can literally feel your organs moving around... and it's a wicked feeling. (Wear your binder!)

8. You will be a big, fat farting gasbag, so embrace your inner guy.

9. Despite the doctor's mantra of "Female empowerment" and the thrill you feel over taking charge of your health and your pain, there will be moments of supreme self-doubt.

What about you... what do you wish you had known?

After Hysterectomy, You Must Rest

It sounds like common sense, but it needs to be said: if you feel tired, rest! We are women and we like to be useful... we like to be productive, we like to take care of others, we like to be part of the action, we like to do. We feel lazy and selfish when we sit around, watching others do the work.

If there's ever a time for "laziness" and "selfishness", though, it's after a hysterectomy. Your body has been through hell, and it needs time to recover. Your emotions have been through the wringer, too, and they also need time to adjust. Think of this self-care period as an investment in your future: if you take the time to take care of yourself, you'll recovery more fully, possibly need less pain medications, and be less likely to do damages that will require follow-up surgery.

Know Your Limits Post-Op

I woke up this morning to the sound of someone banging on my front door, banging as though they were about to kick it in. Without thinking, I jumped out of bed and ran to the door... and found a couple of ladies wanting to share "the beauty of Christ's love". As soon as I realized I was in no harm and the adrenaline rush died down, I was in horrible pain. I felt like my insides were being ripped to pieces.

While it is important to be increasingly active after your surgery, it's even more important to know your own limits and to listen to your body. If something hurts, don't do it! Pain is a definite sign that you've done too much. Increased vaginal bleeding is another dead giveaway. In the early weeks post-op, avoid:

*Lifting more than five pounds
*Running
*Stretching
*Sex
*Sudden, quick movements
*Anything that causes pain and discomfort

Support Your Friend Before Hysterectomy

In the days leading up to my hysterectomy, I was a nervous wreck. I babbled incessantly about all the things that could go wrong and all the what ifs. I had a total one-track mind, and friends and the hubster learned way more about my uterus than they ever really needed to know. But, you know what? They all listened, they all pretended each and every time that this was a new conversation... and it helped so much.

Talking the issues through helped me to realize that some of the fears were a bit unfounded and that some of the possible risks were worth the payoff. One friend in particular took a very analytical approach to my fears, helping me to take the anxiety from the abstract to the concrete. She'd say, "What, exactly, are you worried about?" When I told her I was afraid the anesthesia wouldn't work and I'd wake up during surgery, she pointed out that I've been under general anesthesia before with no complications. Sounds simple, but it really eased my mind.

If someone you love is facing hysterectomy, here are some tips:

*Listen, without fail.
*Use humor as appropriate, but do not mock her fears.
*Try to pinpoint the source of her fear. Specific issues are easier to deal with than general anxiety.
*Do research and help educate her on the likelihood of complications.
*Help her make plans for the post-op period. Preparation definitelys helps cut through anxiety.
*Take her mind off the surgery. The weekend before my surgery, a friend invited several women over for a girls' night. Take her out, spend time with her, do something fun!

More than anything else, just be there.

Wear Your Stomach Binder

After hysterectomy, your stomach is sore and swollen. There's this odd sensation that your internal organs are moving-- and they are. The organs are moving slightly, filling in the space your uterus used to occupy. Sometimes I feel like I have to hold my belly to keep everything inside!

Now I'm realizing that my stomach binder is my best friend. It's large and intrusive, a white velcro-covered wrap that goes all the way around my belly, holding things in place. It shows under my clothes. I don't care, though-- it works! The wrap provides support and makes walking less painful.

Since I haven't been cleared for driving yet and I'm not looking to win any fashion shows, I'm not really worried about the looks of it. For someone who needs less intrusive support, Hyster Sisters makes a cool Swelly Belly Band. I haven't tried it yet, but it's definitely on my wish list. Have you tried it? Let me know how it works!

Post-Hysterectomy Gas

There were so many things I didn't know before my surgery. One of those little tidbits I was ignorant of was the gas. Pass gas, poot, fart... whatever you call it, you're going to be doing it for days and days after the surgery. And that's a good thing... really.

Many, many of your bodily functions will be sluggish after abdominal surgery, and that includes passing gas. Trust me, you'll feel much better when you do! It's important to pass the gas, but it isn't always easy.

Walking helps-- a lot. As soon as your doctor/nurse says it's safe, start moving. It helps with the elimination of gas, and also decreases gas overall. Avoiding spicy and gas-producing foods immediately before and after the surgery helps, too. If you are uncomfortable, see if your doctor will allow gas relief medications, like Gas-X.

Don't Dismiss Her Hysterectomy Concerns

Right before my surgery, I told a friend that I was nervous. Her response? "It's a really common surgery!" Now, I'm sure she was trying to reassure, maybe trying to tell me that it's a routine procedure and there will be no complications. That's not how I took it, though! I felt dismissed, like she didn't care about my feelings at all. I felt minimized and pushed aside, like I should just dispose of my uterus and get over it already. Not a good feeling. The thing is, it's not common to me. This is my only uterus and, faulty or not, losing it was emotional.

So, if someone close to you is facing hysterectomy, don't wave away her worries. Especially for women still in their childbearing years, this is emotional stuff.

How to Help After Hysterectomy

I didn't realize just how good my friends were until I faced my surgery. I have no family and my husband's family is overseas, so surgery was an ultra-daunting prospect. I was scared to death that my husband would not be able to come to the hospital, that he would have to stay home with our kids instead. The day of surgery, two friends divided the hours, providing care and entertainment to our kids. They took care of the girls for hours each day so that hubby could visit me. After I returned home, another friend sent a housekeeper over to take care of cleaning! I have never felt so loved. It really allowed me to relax and focus on healing.

If you're looking for ways to help your friend, consider these:

*Cook freezable meals and bring over (casseroles are excellent for this)
*Offer to drive your friend places (she will not be able to drive for weeks)
*Drive her children to activities
*Offer to take the kids for a couple of hours so she can rest
*Provide "quiet activity kits" for her kids
*Offer to vacuum, mop, and sweep (she won't be able to stretch)
*Do her laundry
*Call her, visit her

Being There Before the Hysterectomy

If someone you know is having a hysterectomy, she might not know how to ask for help. Trust me, she needs help! There are so many ways you can help, it doesn't even have to be something major. Probably the biggest thing you can offer is your support. Hysterectomy is a big deal, and it can be frightening and highly emotional. Just being there, lending an ear and a shoulder, can be worth so much. Remember your friend is facing some fears that might seem illogical to you-- don't laugh! In the days leading up to my surgery, I had this horrible fear that I would remain alert and feeling during the procedure, and that the doctor wouldn't know! Sounds silly, I know now, but it kept me awake several nights in a row. Just be willing to listen and to reassure as needed...

Goodbye To My Uterus

I'm 32, and I'm one week post-op. I had a total abdominal hysterectomy. I have such mixed feelings right now, and by that I mean I'm having total mood swings about it! In one moment, I'm looking forward to a life without periods and pain, but in the next I'm seeing a beautiful baby and mourning the fact that I'll never have another one. Sure, I have three kids and odds are, I wouldn't have wanted another one, but still.... just knowing it was possible...

At this point, things are too new for me to really say much about the results of my surgery, but I plan to chronicle the journey here. You'll learn more about what led me to have such drastic surgery at this age... you'll learn about options for women facing this life-altering decision... and you'll learn about my life without a uterus!