Sex After Hysterectomy

I've been avoiding the "S" word on this blog, mainly because my mother reads it, but it's an important topic, one I have to address. Cover your eyes...

When Can I Have Sex After Hysterectomy?

First things first... do not, I repeat, DO NOT have intercourse before your doctor clears you. You will regret it. If your cervix was removed during the surgery, you now have a vaginal cuff. That means you have stitches-- many, many stitches-- inside your vagina. Ouch! Imagine the pain of ripping and tearing vaginal stitches and needing vaginal surgery, not to mention a lengthy hospital stay. All for a little action between the sheets... worth it? I think not.

Most doctors clear their patients for sex four to six weeks post-op, but some say wait eight weeks, or even longer. It really depends on the specifics of your surgery and your unique recovery. Only your doctor really knows what is going on internally, so it's in your best interests to listen to him.

The First Time

Immediately after surgery, I thought I would never, ever desire sex again... and I was okay with that! My insides felt like they had been put through a meat grinder, and I couldn't imagine ever wanting below-the-belt activities. I found myself hoping my doctor would say I had to wait three months! I actually had a plan to tell my husband that the doctor said that, no matter what my six week checkup held. Sneaky, eh?

Somewhere between the four to six week mark, however, I started feeling more alive, not quite so sore and tender. I was actually thrilled when I got the nooky go-ahead. Thrilled... but scared to death. Would it hurt? Would I bleed? Would it feel different for my husband? And on and on...

So, the big night finally came... and it was absolutely fine. Not exactly fireworks, because we were both so nervous and afraid of hurting me, but... nice. I'm happy to report that everything still works exactly as it should. There was no bleeding, but it's perfectly normal and okay to have light bleeding after the first couple of times. There was also no pain, discomfort, or dryness. Whew, what a relief! Oh, and by the way, it gets better every time.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Seven Weeks After My Hysterectomy

First off, I'm sorry I haven't been posting regularly. I'm just feeling so much better that I've been forgetting! Seriously, I've been catching up on my "normal" life-- working, visiting friends, and schooling my kids. I've even starting working out. I'm far, far from in shape, but it feels so good to have started.

Apparently my belly bloat is finally showing real progress-- I'm wearing my pre-hysterectomy jeans today. Yay me! I'm so excited about this. I was really starting to think this overhanging tummy was my new look. Granted, these jeans are still quite a bit bigger than I'd like, but at least I'm back to normal. Did I mention I've started working out? Some time in '08 I will be back in single digit jeans...

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Dealing With Depression After Hysterectomy

If you recently had a hysterectomy and are still feeling depressed and out of sorts, I want to assure you... it really does get better. For me, I saw significant improvement between the fourth and fifth weeks. My relief was multi-faceted.

Still a Woman?

First off, I had to deal with feeling "less than" because I no longer have a uterus. Less than a woman, less desirable, less feminine, less than whole. I had to realize that I'm much more than a uterus, that I'm not defined by my fertility. This was challenging at first, but it all comes down to a quality of life issue. I realized that I could've gone another 10 years or more with my uterus, suffering day after day, but being "complete." Would that make me more of a woman? I think not.

I wasn't happy like that-- the pain, the mood swings, the constant bleeding. It was no way to live. So, now I've lost my uterus, but so what? I've also lost the pain and the bleeding. To me, it's a pretty good trade-off. I'm guessing yours was, too!

I would suggest that you take some time to think of the things you gave up by having surgery-- bleeding, pain, bloating, mood swings, risk of uterine cancer, fibroids, etc. Write it down so you can refer to it later. Now, write down the things you'll eventually gain-- more even moods, life without pain, freer social life (no planning things after your bleeding), more spontaneous sex life, etc. If you have a spouse and children, include the benefits to them as well-- they'll immediately see the beauty of a happier, healthier, more energetic you! See which list outweighs the other. Keep this list in a safe place-- you'll need to refer back to it often.

Deal With Any Deficiencies

You'll also want to deal with any hormonal deficiencies you have. Whether you have your ovaries or not, you could be showing signs of menopause. It's important to have your hormone levels checked, especially if you're experiencing hot flashes and night sweats. If possible, have a saliva test instead of the blood.

I've been taking Complete Balance for Menopause. There is an AM formula and a PM one, and it gave me almost immediate relief. Not only are my hot flashes gone, I'm also feeling happier and more energetic. I'm also using Pro-Gest, a natural progesterone cream.

In addition, I'm taking L-tyrosine and 5-HTP. This is because I show symptoms of a serotonin deficiency. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter largely responsible for feelings of calm, relaxation, and happiness. If you're deficient, you will feel anxious and irritable. As an added benefit, serotonin is responsible for feelings of sexual desire.

Please note that I'm not suggesting you take the same supplements I'm using. I'm not a doctor and I know nothing about your specific situation. I am suggesting that you check with your doctor. If your doctor isn't helpful, read books about hormone help. Pharmacists are also helpful.

The bottom line is relief is available. You may have to search for the answers, but the answers are out there.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Six Weeks Post-Hysterectomy

Six weeks post-hysterectomy, and I'm almost feeling like my old self. Actually, I'm feeling better than my old self in many ways. For example, I feel much more even emotionally. My husband told me that he's amazed by my "transformation", he's never seen me laugh so much!

And I really feel like a different person. For one thing, I haven't gone more than two and a half weeks without bleeding in years. It's amazing! Life without bleeding, cramping, and the haywire emotions of PMS is just great. I keep forgetting that I no longer have a uterus. I keep waiting for the bleeding to start; keep wondering when the good mood will be replaced by irritability and moodiness. When I found pads stashed in my purse, I realized it hasn't quite sunk in that I'll never have another period. Simply an amazing thought.

I'm feeling much better physically, too. My abdomen no longer hurts, although it is still slightly tender to the touch. The swelling is going down, too. I still tire easily, but my endurance is getting better.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

HRT and Insomnia

If you're taking HRT and suffering from insomnia, check out Can Hormone Replacement Therapy Help You Sleep Better at Tips for Better Sleep.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Pros and Cons of Keeping Ovaries

When I was considering getting a hysterectomy, my friend urged me to have my ovaries removed no matter what. She has had wonderful results with her HRT and loves being on an "even keel" emotionally. My doctor, on the other hand, said it's better to keep the ovaries if at all possible. In the end, I opted to keep my ovaries if they appeared healthy, and that's what happened. So, is it better to keep the ovaries or have them removed? If your ovaries are diseased, grossly enlarged, or otherwised damaged, you should definitely consider removal. If they're healthy, however, it's a bit more complicated.

Pros of Keeping Ovaries

• When the ovaries are removed, the body is sent into instant menopause. This surgical menopause is more severe than natural, gradual menopause.
• If you keep your ovaries, your body should continue to produce reproductive hormones and you can usually delay the need for HRT.
• Keeping your ovaries usually diminishes menopause-like symptoms, such as hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness, although some women with ovaries experience these things for a while post-op.

Cons of Keeping Ovaries

• If you still have your ovaries, you can still ovulate. This means you can still experience pain during ovulation and PMS
• You can still develop ovarian cancer. If you have a family history of ovarian cancer or other risk factors for the disease, discuss this with your doctor.
• You can still develop ovarian cysts.
  

In the end, this is a personal decision that only you and your doctor can make. Weigh out your options and consider your age, health, and risk factors. Good luck!

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

How I'm Feeling 5 Weeks Post-Op

What a difference a week makes! I'm now 5 weeks post-hysterectomy and feeling remarkably better. My weepiness is completely gone. I can finally discuss my hysterectomy and the loss of my fertility without even a trace of sadness.

I'm feeling better physically, too. Although my abdomen is still slightly tender, sharp pains are almost completely a thing of the past. My body does let me know when I've done too much, though. Today, for example, I drove a lot, then went to a movie, followed by a shopping excursion. By the time I returned home, my poor tummy was bloated, puffy, and sore. Note to self: it's still too soon for an entire day out and about, but we're getting there.

Now that full recovery is on the horizon, I'm feeling optimistic.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Reasons to Get Hysterectomy

There are many reasons to get hysterectomy... and many reasons not to. So, what conditions really do require such drastic surgery? That depends on many factors, such as a woman's age, her condition, and whether or not she wishes to become pregnant.

Is Endometriosis a Good Reason for Surgery?

Many women get hysterectomies for severe endometriosis. This is a good last resort for endo, but it shouldn't be the first line of treatment, especially if you wish to have children. If you have endometriosis and you would like to have kids (or more kids), there are treatments available that can preserve your fertility. Ask about:

• Laparoscopic surgery
• Hormone treatments
• Dietary and lifestyle changes
• Mirena IUD (until pregnancy is desired)
• Birth control pills (until pregnancy is desired)
• Progestins

If preserving fertility is not a concern, you might consider an endometrial ablation. This procedure burns the lining of the uterus and usually results in less bleeding. Results are mixed for women with endo, though, as many report that pain is not improved.

Other Reasons to Get Hysterectomy

In addition to hysterectomy, there are other reasons women choose to get hysterectomy. These include cancer, uncontrollable bleeding, advanced uterine disease, fibroids, uterine prolapse, uterine rupture, and adenomyosis. Although all of these are sometimes legitimate reasons for hysterectomy, consider all available options. As long as you are not facing a medical emergency, as in the case of a rupture, you should always get a second-- and even a third or fourth-- opinion before you schedule surgery. Make sure that all treatment options have been explored.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Are You Ready for Hysterectomy?

Before you go in for your hysterectomy, make sure you are really ready for it. No, I'm not talking about your specific symptoms or your condition; I'm talking about mental and emotional preparation. The removal of your uterus is huge. It's a big deal. It's saying good-bye to a part of you, and don't underestimate the emotions of that.

There is a certain amount of emotion that accompanies hysterectomy, but being prepared can help. Here are a few things you should be clear about:


1. Are you absolutely 100% sure that your childbearing days are behind you?

This is a biggie. Before you remove your womb, make sure you are at peace with the idea of never having children. Even if you already have kids, this is a big decision. Are you sure you don't want to have more kids? Are you sure your family is complete? The time to face this is before you go under the knife. Once done, this surgery cannot be undone!

2. Are you sure hysterectomy is your only option?

Don't get me wrong: I'm not one of those anti-hysterectomy folks. I don't believe that all hysterectomies could be avoided. But, I've had a hysterectomy.... it's major surgery. I would hate to see anyone go through the pain if it could be avoided. Make sure you research your options, get second and third opinions, and make sure hysterectomy is really what you need.

3. Is this your decision-- or your doctor's?

Like it or not, there are doctors who prescribe surgery as a first line of defense. There are doctors who make you feel there are no options. And there are doctors who push, rush, and bully their patients into decisions. The decision to remove your uterus is not one to take lightly; it's not a choice to make on the fly. It should be your decision, and no one else's. Sure, you should get your doctor's medical opinion and you should discuss with your spouse, friends, and family, but in the end, it's your body and your decision. You, and you alone, live with the repercussions.

4. Do you know your hysterectomy options?

There are different types of hysterectomies, and each has its own recovery time, hospital stays, pros, and cons. Understand the options. Ask why your doctor is recommending a certain method over others. Before you even get close to the hospital, discuss your doctor's views on keeping the ovaries, tubes, and cervix. This is your surgery-- personalize it to your views, your life, and your condition.

Hysterectomy is rough, but being mentally and emotionally prepared makes it much smoother.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

One Month Post-Hysterectomy

It has been exactly four weeks since my total abdominal hysterectomy. How am I feeling? Am I completely recovered? I am definitely feeling better than I was four weeks ago, but I'm not at all fully recovered. Here's a recap of how I'm feeling these days:

• I am still not sleeping well
• I get extremely tired with very little exertion
• My numbness is almost gone, although some parts of my abdomen still tingle
• My abdominal bloat is better, but I am very swollen at the end of the day or if I've been on my feet too much
• I feel weepy off and on, and usually for no apparent reason
• I am having some mood swings-- from happy to crying to angry in mere minutes
• The pain is almost non-existent under normal conditions. I feel twinges sometimes, usually if I've gotten up from bed too quickly or at the wrong angle, but I feel much better. I also feel more pain if I've tried to do too much.
• I am driving, but it wears me out. I can't handle long drives or drives that require walking at the destination.
• I still have occasional back and leg pain, but it is better than before the surgery. Because of my endo, I've always had back and leg pain, but this is an improvement.
• I still have headaches, but they seem to be improving. This is another symptom I've always had, but I really feel I'm seeing improvement in the frequency, severity, and duration.

All in all, I'm feeling better than I expected to feel at this stage in my recovery.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Abdominal Numbness After Hysterectomy

My abdominal numbness is improving everyday, and I'm so happy! I was afraid that the feeling would be permanent. For others who are thinking of surgery or who are recovering from surgery... it's perfectly normal to have a bit of numbness after hysterectomy.

In my case, the feeling is a little hard to describe. There was numbness, but there was also a burning sensation... all at the same time. I felt like my insides were numb, but my skin felt like it had been frostbitten. It wasn't exactly painful, but it was definitely uncomfortable.

Remember... even if your doctor tells you a full recovery takes 4 to 6 weeks, it really takes much longer. Your body has been through so much, and it will be months before you are completely back to normal. Everything-- muscles, nerves, ligaments, skin-- has been cut, and all those things must heal. Some numbness, tingling, burning, and loss of sensation are perfectly normal. Severe pain that persists despite medication, however, is not normal and should be reported to your doctor.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Diet for Hormone Balance?

As you know by now, I still have my ovaries... I also have hot flashes, night sweats, and roller coaster emotions. I'm still waiting to find out if my hormone levels are normal or not, but I know something isn't quite right, so I'm looking into my options. I've recently read that your hormonal health can depend greatly on your diet. That makes perfect sense to me! You know, you are what you eat and all...

So, I'm going to start eating a more "hormonally sound" diet and I'll report back on my health. According to the experts-- doctors, such as Dr. Theresa Dale and Dr. Earl Mindell-- these dietary changes can boost hormone health and, by extension, symptoms such as mood swings, loss of libido, vaginal dryness, night sweats, and hot flashes:

• No sugar
• No caffeine
• No white flour
• No dairy products
• No wheat
• Increase the amount of raw food in your diet
• Eat foods steamed or sauteed rather than fried
• Avoid aluminum cookware (glass is preferable)
• Eat organic if possible; at a minimum, clean fruits and vegetables well
• Avoid preservatives

For more information, check out Dr. Theresa Dale's book, Revitalize Your Hormones: Dr. Dale's 7 Steps to a Happier, Healthier, and Sexier You. Another book that has gotten rave reviews from friends, although I haven't yet read it, is "It's My Ovaries, Stupid" by Elizabeth Lee Vliet. That's next on my reading list.

Have you tried dietary treatment for your hormonal imbalances? How did it work?

• Avoid plastic containers

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Back Pain After Hysterectomy

When planning my hysterectomy, one thing I was looking forward to was a life free of chronic back pain. With my endometriosis, my back and leg pain was almost as debilitating as my cramps and bleeding. Just days after my surgery, I could already feel a big difference. Aside from the pain at the incision, I was feeling better than I had in years. One notable change was the absence of back pain. Oh, happy day.

Imagine my surprise, then, to find my back hurting-- badly-- in my third week post-op. I instantly jumped to conclusions-- my endo wasn't completely removed, my back pain was never related to the endo in the first place, I was still doomed to a life of chronic pain, and on and on.

Luckily, I learned that back pain is perfectly normal in the third and fourth weeks post-hysterectomy. Apparently, the back is having to compensate for the weakened abdominal muscles. The pain should go away in another week or so. In the meantime, I'm finding relief from:

• Ibufrofen
• Heating pad
• Warm bath
• Walking

Don't worry, girls... this, too, shall pass. Just keep thinking of the pain- and period-free days ahead and it'll all be worth it.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Pamper Yourself Post-Op

As I mentioned before, I've been feeling down lately. Today, I took a good, long look in the mirror, and I realized something-- I'm looking quite haggard and frumpy, older than my age. Actually, I look like someone who just crawled out of a cave after a long, long hibernation: bushy, unkempt eyebrows; brassy, frizzy hair; and sweatpants that have definitely seen better days.

Now, don't get me wrong... noone excepts a woman fresh out of surgery to look like Miss America. You fully deserve to rest, relax, and recuperate. This isn't about impressing anyone or turning anyone on (after all, you won't be seeing any action for a good, long while!). No, this has nothing to do with anyone but you.

For the past three weeks, I've had no interest in being pretty or feeling pretty; I simply wanted to stop the pain, get some sleep, and lose the bloat. Suddenly, today, that changed. Today, I wanted to look like me. I traded in my sweats for a pair of jeans. No, not my usual jeans, not "skinny" jeans. They were actually the jeans that fit before I lost 20 pounds, but let's not dwell on that! The point is, I'm wearing normal clothes. Yay me! Surprisingly, it made me feel a little better, a little more normal.

Ways to Pamper Yourself

So, whenever it happens for you... whether a week, a month, two months, or three months post op... whenever you decide you're in need of a beauty pick-me-up, here are some things to try.

• Shave your legs (only if you're able to bend and stretch that way)
• Wax eyebrows and upper lip
• Touch up hair color
• Try a new hair style (for me, this just meant taking down the ponytail and washing it!)
• Take a bubble bath (if bathing has been okay'd by your doctor)
• Try a new perfume
• Spritz perfume or linen spray on your pillows and sheets
• Wear a nice top
• Paint nails or go all out for a mani/pedi
• Use a little makeup
• Get out of your sweats. Or, at least put on a pair of clean sweats!

What about you... what helped you feel better after your hysterectomy?

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!