Sex After Hysterectomy

I've been avoiding the "S" word on this blog, mainly because my mother reads it, but it's an important topic, one I have to address. Cover your eyes...

When Can I Have Sex After Hysterectomy?

First things first... do not, I repeat, DO NOT have intercourse before your doctor clears you. You will regret it. If your cervix was removed during the surgery, you now have a vaginal cuff. That means you have stitches-- many, many stitches-- inside your vagina. Ouch! Imagine the pain of ripping and tearing vaginal stitches and needing vaginal surgery, not to mention a lengthy hospital stay. All for a little action between the sheets... worth it? I think not.

Most doctors clear their patients for sex four to six weeks post-op, but some say wait eight weeks, or even longer. It really depends on the specifics of your surgery and your unique recovery. Only your doctor really knows what is going on internally, so it's in your best interests to listen to him.

The First Time

Immediately after surgery, I thought I would never, ever desire sex again... and I was okay with that! My insides felt like they had been put through a meat grinder, and I couldn't imagine ever wanting below-the-belt activities. I found myself hoping my doctor would say I had to wait three months! I actually had a plan to tell my husband that the doctor said that, no matter what my six week checkup held. Sneaky, eh?

Somewhere between the four to six week mark, however, I started feeling more alive, not quite so sore and tender. I was actually thrilled when I got the nooky go-ahead. Thrilled... but scared to death. Would it hurt? Would I bleed? Would it feel different for my husband? And on and on...

So, the big night finally came... and it was absolutely fine. Not exactly fireworks, because we were both so nervous and afraid of hurting me, but... nice. I'm happy to report that everything still works exactly as it should. There was no bleeding, but it's perfectly normal and okay to have light bleeding after the first couple of times. There was also no pain, discomfort, or dryness. Whew, what a relief! Oh, and by the way, it gets better every time.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Seven Weeks After My Hysterectomy

First off, I'm sorry I haven't been posting regularly. I'm just feeling so much better that I've been forgetting! Seriously, I've been catching up on my "normal" life-- working, visiting friends, and schooling my kids. I've even starting working out. I'm far, far from in shape, but it feels so good to have started.

Apparently my belly bloat is finally showing real progress-- I'm wearing my pre-hysterectomy jeans today. Yay me! I'm so excited about this. I was really starting to think this overhanging tummy was my new look. Granted, these jeans are still quite a bit bigger than I'd like, but at least I'm back to normal. Did I mention I've started working out? Some time in '08 I will be back in single digit jeans...

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Dealing With Depression After Hysterectomy

If you recently had a hysterectomy and are still feeling depressed and out of sorts, I want to assure you... it really does get better. For me, I saw significant improvement between the fourth and fifth weeks. My relief was multi-faceted.

Still a Woman?

First off, I had to deal with feeling "less than" because I no longer have a uterus. Less than a woman, less desirable, less feminine, less than whole. I had to realize that I'm much more than a uterus, that I'm not defined by my fertility. This was challenging at first, but it all comes down to a quality of life issue. I realized that I could've gone another 10 years or more with my uterus, suffering day after day, but being "complete." Would that make me more of a woman? I think not.

I wasn't happy like that-- the pain, the mood swings, the constant bleeding. It was no way to live. So, now I've lost my uterus, but so what? I've also lost the pain and the bleeding. To me, it's a pretty good trade-off. I'm guessing yours was, too!

I would suggest that you take some time to think of the things you gave up by having surgery-- bleeding, pain, bloating, mood swings, risk of uterine cancer, fibroids, etc. Write it down so you can refer to it later. Now, write down the things you'll eventually gain-- more even moods, life without pain, freer social life (no planning things after your bleeding), more spontaneous sex life, etc. If you have a spouse and children, include the benefits to them as well-- they'll immediately see the beauty of a happier, healthier, more energetic you! See which list outweighs the other. Keep this list in a safe place-- you'll need to refer back to it often.

Deal With Any Deficiencies

You'll also want to deal with any hormonal deficiencies you have. Whether you have your ovaries or not, you could be showing signs of menopause. It's important to have your hormone levels checked, especially if you're experiencing hot flashes and night sweats. If possible, have a saliva test instead of the blood.

I've been taking Complete Balance for Menopause. There is an AM formula and a PM one, and it gave me almost immediate relief. Not only are my hot flashes gone, I'm also feeling happier and more energetic. I'm also using Pro-Gest, a natural progesterone cream.

In addition, I'm taking L-tyrosine and 5-HTP. This is because I show symptoms of a serotonin deficiency. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter largely responsible for feelings of calm, relaxation, and happiness. If you're deficient, you will feel anxious and irritable. As an added benefit, serotonin is responsible for feelings of sexual desire.

Please note that I'm not suggesting you take the same supplements I'm using. I'm not a doctor and I know nothing about your specific situation. I am suggesting that you check with your doctor. If your doctor isn't helpful, read books about hormone help. Pharmacists are also helpful.

The bottom line is relief is available. You may have to search for the answers, but the answers are out there.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Six Weeks Post-Hysterectomy

Six weeks post-hysterectomy, and I'm almost feeling like my old self. Actually, I'm feeling better than my old self in many ways. For example, I feel much more even emotionally. My husband told me that he's amazed by my "transformation", he's never seen me laugh so much!

And I really feel like a different person. For one thing, I haven't gone more than two and a half weeks without bleeding in years. It's amazing! Life without bleeding, cramping, and the haywire emotions of PMS is just great. I keep forgetting that I no longer have a uterus. I keep waiting for the bleeding to start; keep wondering when the good mood will be replaced by irritability and moodiness. When I found pads stashed in my purse, I realized it hasn't quite sunk in that I'll never have another period. Simply an amazing thought.

I'm feeling much better physically, too. My abdomen no longer hurts, although it is still slightly tender to the touch. The swelling is going down, too. I still tire easily, but my endurance is getting better.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

HRT and Insomnia

If you're taking HRT and suffering from insomnia, check out Can Hormone Replacement Therapy Help You Sleep Better at Tips for Better Sleep.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Pros and Cons of Keeping Ovaries

When I was considering getting a hysterectomy, my friend urged me to have my ovaries removed no matter what. She has had wonderful results with her HRT and loves being on an "even keel" emotionally. My doctor, on the other hand, said it's better to keep the ovaries if at all possible. In the end, I opted to keep my ovaries if they appeared healthy, and that's what happened. So, is it better to keep the ovaries or have them removed? If your ovaries are diseased, grossly enlarged, or otherwised damaged, you should definitely consider removal. If they're healthy, however, it's a bit more complicated.

Pros of Keeping Ovaries

• When the ovaries are removed, the body is sent into instant menopause. This surgical menopause is more severe than natural, gradual menopause.
• If you keep your ovaries, your body should continue to produce reproductive hormones and you can usually delay the need for HRT.
• Keeping your ovaries usually diminishes menopause-like symptoms, such as hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness, although some women with ovaries experience these things for a while post-op.

Cons of Keeping Ovaries

• If you still have your ovaries, you can still ovulate. This means you can still experience pain during ovulation and PMS
• You can still develop ovarian cancer. If you have a family history of ovarian cancer or other risk factors for the disease, discuss this with your doctor.
• You can still develop ovarian cysts.
  

In the end, this is a personal decision that only you and your doctor can make. Weigh out your options and consider your age, health, and risk factors. Good luck!

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

How I'm Feeling 5 Weeks Post-Op

What a difference a week makes! I'm now 5 weeks post-hysterectomy and feeling remarkably better. My weepiness is completely gone. I can finally discuss my hysterectomy and the loss of my fertility without even a trace of sadness.

I'm feeling better physically, too. Although my abdomen is still slightly tender, sharp pains are almost completely a thing of the past. My body does let me know when I've done too much, though. Today, for example, I drove a lot, then went to a movie, followed by a shopping excursion. By the time I returned home, my poor tummy was bloated, puffy, and sore. Note to self: it's still too soon for an entire day out and about, but we're getting there.

Now that full recovery is on the horizon, I'm feeling optimistic.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Reasons to Get Hysterectomy

There are many reasons to get hysterectomy... and many reasons not to. So, what conditions really do require such drastic surgery? That depends on many factors, such as a woman's age, her condition, and whether or not she wishes to become pregnant.

Is Endometriosis a Good Reason for Surgery?

Many women get hysterectomies for severe endometriosis. This is a good last resort for endo, but it shouldn't be the first line of treatment, especially if you wish to have children. If you have endometriosis and you would like to have kids (or more kids), there are treatments available that can preserve your fertility. Ask about:

• Laparoscopic surgery
• Hormone treatments
• Dietary and lifestyle changes
• Mirena IUD (until pregnancy is desired)
• Birth control pills (until pregnancy is desired)
• Progestins

If preserving fertility is not a concern, you might consider an endometrial ablation. This procedure burns the lining of the uterus and usually results in less bleeding. Results are mixed for women with endo, though, as many report that pain is not improved.

Other Reasons to Get Hysterectomy

In addition to hysterectomy, there are other reasons women choose to get hysterectomy. These include cancer, uncontrollable bleeding, advanced uterine disease, fibroids, uterine prolapse, uterine rupture, and adenomyosis. Although all of these are sometimes legitimate reasons for hysterectomy, consider all available options. As long as you are not facing a medical emergency, as in the case of a rupture, you should always get a second-- and even a third or fourth-- opinion before you schedule surgery. Make sure that all treatment options have been explored.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Are You Ready for Hysterectomy?

Before you go in for your hysterectomy, make sure you are really ready for it. No, I'm not talking about your specific symptoms or your condition; I'm talking about mental and emotional preparation. The removal of your uterus is huge. It's a big deal. It's saying good-bye to a part of you, and don't underestimate the emotions of that.

There is a certain amount of emotion that accompanies hysterectomy, but being prepared can help. Here are a few things you should be clear about:


1. Are you absolutely 100% sure that your childbearing days are behind you?

This is a biggie. Before you remove your womb, make sure you are at peace with the idea of never having children. Even if you already have kids, this is a big decision. Are you sure you don't want to have more kids? Are you sure your family is complete? The time to face this is before you go under the knife. Once done, this surgery cannot be undone!

2. Are you sure hysterectomy is your only option?

Don't get me wrong: I'm not one of those anti-hysterectomy folks. I don't believe that all hysterectomies could be avoided. But, I've had a hysterectomy.... it's major surgery. I would hate to see anyone go through the pain if it could be avoided. Make sure you research your options, get second and third opinions, and make sure hysterectomy is really what you need.

3. Is this your decision-- or your doctor's?

Like it or not, there are doctors who prescribe surgery as a first line of defense. There are doctors who make you feel there are no options. And there are doctors who push, rush, and bully their patients into decisions. The decision to remove your uterus is not one to take lightly; it's not a choice to make on the fly. It should be your decision, and no one else's. Sure, you should get your doctor's medical opinion and you should discuss with your spouse, friends, and family, but in the end, it's your body and your decision. You, and you alone, live with the repercussions.

4. Do you know your hysterectomy options?

There are different types of hysterectomies, and each has its own recovery time, hospital stays, pros, and cons. Understand the options. Ask why your doctor is recommending a certain method over others. Before you even get close to the hospital, discuss your doctor's views on keeping the ovaries, tubes, and cervix. This is your surgery-- personalize it to your views, your life, and your condition.

Hysterectomy is rough, but being mentally and emotionally prepared makes it much smoother.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

One Month Post-Hysterectomy

It has been exactly four weeks since my total abdominal hysterectomy. How am I feeling? Am I completely recovered? I am definitely feeling better than I was four weeks ago, but I'm not at all fully recovered. Here's a recap of how I'm feeling these days:

• I am still not sleeping well
• I get extremely tired with very little exertion
• My numbness is almost gone, although some parts of my abdomen still tingle
• My abdominal bloat is better, but I am very swollen at the end of the day or if I've been on my feet too much
• I feel weepy off and on, and usually for no apparent reason
• I am having some mood swings-- from happy to crying to angry in mere minutes
• The pain is almost non-existent under normal conditions. I feel twinges sometimes, usually if I've gotten up from bed too quickly or at the wrong angle, but I feel much better. I also feel more pain if I've tried to do too much.
• I am driving, but it wears me out. I can't handle long drives or drives that require walking at the destination.
• I still have occasional back and leg pain, but it is better than before the surgery. Because of my endo, I've always had back and leg pain, but this is an improvement.
• I still have headaches, but they seem to be improving. This is another symptom I've always had, but I really feel I'm seeing improvement in the frequency, severity, and duration.

All in all, I'm feeling better than I expected to feel at this stage in my recovery.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Abdominal Numbness After Hysterectomy

My abdominal numbness is improving everyday, and I'm so happy! I was afraid that the feeling would be permanent. For others who are thinking of surgery or who are recovering from surgery... it's perfectly normal to have a bit of numbness after hysterectomy.

In my case, the feeling is a little hard to describe. There was numbness, but there was also a burning sensation... all at the same time. I felt like my insides were numb, but my skin felt like it had been frostbitten. It wasn't exactly painful, but it was definitely uncomfortable.

Remember... even if your doctor tells you a full recovery takes 4 to 6 weeks, it really takes much longer. Your body has been through so much, and it will be months before you are completely back to normal. Everything-- muscles, nerves, ligaments, skin-- has been cut, and all those things must heal. Some numbness, tingling, burning, and loss of sensation are perfectly normal. Severe pain that persists despite medication, however, is not normal and should be reported to your doctor.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Diet for Hormone Balance?

As you know by now, I still have my ovaries... I also have hot flashes, night sweats, and roller coaster emotions. I'm still waiting to find out if my hormone levels are normal or not, but I know something isn't quite right, so I'm looking into my options. I've recently read that your hormonal health can depend greatly on your diet. That makes perfect sense to me! You know, you are what you eat and all...

So, I'm going to start eating a more "hormonally sound" diet and I'll report back on my health. According to the experts-- doctors, such as Dr. Theresa Dale and Dr. Earl Mindell-- these dietary changes can boost hormone health and, by extension, symptoms such as mood swings, loss of libido, vaginal dryness, night sweats, and hot flashes:

• No sugar
• No caffeine
• No white flour
• No dairy products
• No wheat
• Increase the amount of raw food in your diet
• Eat foods steamed or sauteed rather than fried
• Avoid aluminum cookware (glass is preferable)
• Eat organic if possible; at a minimum, clean fruits and vegetables well
• Avoid preservatives

For more information, check out Dr. Theresa Dale's book, Revitalize Your Hormones: Dr. Dale's 7 Steps to a Happier, Healthier, and Sexier You. Another book that has gotten rave reviews from friends, although I haven't yet read it, is "It's My Ovaries, Stupid" by Elizabeth Lee Vliet. That's next on my reading list.

Have you tried dietary treatment for your hormonal imbalances? How did it work?

• Avoid plastic containers

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Back Pain After Hysterectomy

When planning my hysterectomy, one thing I was looking forward to was a life free of chronic back pain. With my endometriosis, my back and leg pain was almost as debilitating as my cramps and bleeding. Just days after my surgery, I could already feel a big difference. Aside from the pain at the incision, I was feeling better than I had in years. One notable change was the absence of back pain. Oh, happy day.

Imagine my surprise, then, to find my back hurting-- badly-- in my third week post-op. I instantly jumped to conclusions-- my endo wasn't completely removed, my back pain was never related to the endo in the first place, I was still doomed to a life of chronic pain, and on and on.

Luckily, I learned that back pain is perfectly normal in the third and fourth weeks post-hysterectomy. Apparently, the back is having to compensate for the weakened abdominal muscles. The pain should go away in another week or so. In the meantime, I'm finding relief from:

• Ibufrofen
• Heating pad
• Warm bath
• Walking

Don't worry, girls... this, too, shall pass. Just keep thinking of the pain- and period-free days ahead and it'll all be worth it.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Pamper Yourself Post-Op

As I mentioned before, I've been feeling down lately. Today, I took a good, long look in the mirror, and I realized something-- I'm looking quite haggard and frumpy, older than my age. Actually, I look like someone who just crawled out of a cave after a long, long hibernation: bushy, unkempt eyebrows; brassy, frizzy hair; and sweatpants that have definitely seen better days.

Now, don't get me wrong... noone excepts a woman fresh out of surgery to look like Miss America. You fully deserve to rest, relax, and recuperate. This isn't about impressing anyone or turning anyone on (after all, you won't be seeing any action for a good, long while!). No, this has nothing to do with anyone but you.

For the past three weeks, I've had no interest in being pretty or feeling pretty; I simply wanted to stop the pain, get some sleep, and lose the bloat. Suddenly, today, that changed. Today, I wanted to look like me. I traded in my sweats for a pair of jeans. No, not my usual jeans, not "skinny" jeans. They were actually the jeans that fit before I lost 20 pounds, but let's not dwell on that! The point is, I'm wearing normal clothes. Yay me! Surprisingly, it made me feel a little better, a little more normal.

Ways to Pamper Yourself

So, whenever it happens for you... whether a week, a month, two months, or three months post op... whenever you decide you're in need of a beauty pick-me-up, here are some things to try.

• Shave your legs (only if you're able to bend and stretch that way)
• Wax eyebrows and upper lip
• Touch up hair color
• Try a new hair style (for me, this just meant taking down the ponytail and washing it!)
• Take a bubble bath (if bathing has been okay'd by your doctor)
• Try a new perfume
• Spritz perfume or linen spray on your pillows and sheets
• Wear a nice top
• Paint nails or go all out for a mani/pedi
• Use a little makeup
• Get out of your sweats. Or, at least put on a pair of clean sweats!

What about you... what helped you feel better after your hysterectomy?

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Depression After Your Hysterectomy

It's been three weeks since my hysterectomy, and I'm feeling pretty good... physically. Emotionally? Well, that's another story. In my head, I'm perfectly okay with my surgery: I'm looking forward to life without pain and periods. I'm even (mostly) okay with the idea that I'll never have more children. So why am I feeling so weepy?

Everything is making me cry. I read about hysterectomy; I cry. My daughter says something sweet; I cry. I hear a song on the radio; I cry. My doctor tells me I'm brave to have made this decision; I cry. I see a dog food commercial; I cry. Okay, maybe the dog food thing is an exaggeration, but not by much. I can't even explain the tears... there is no logical reason for it. But, is it normal?

It seems there are many possible reasons for the weepiness:

• I'm not sleeping
• I'm frustrated that I can't do so many of the things I'm used to doing
• My hormones are a little out of whack
• I'm caught off guard by my large, swollen belly
• Hysterectomy is, by nature, an emotional surgery and it takes time to sort out the feelings
• The body has been through trauma, and complete healing takes time
• There is a bit of confusion over the exact cause of my pre-hysterectomy bleeding and, by extension, the surgery itself

At this point in the game, we're going on the assumption that this slight depression is a normal by-product of my hysterectomy. My doctor prescribed sleeping pills and mild anti-anxiety pills. He is also checking my hormone levels. Since I'm also having night sweats and hot flashes, there is a possibility that my hormone levels are off. We're going to give it some time.

Warning Signs

Although it's normal to be a bit down after hysterectomy, the blues can become full-blown depression, and depression needs to be treated. You must contact your doctor if:

• You are having thoughts of suicide or wishing for death
• Your sadness makes it impossible for you to function on a daily basis
• Your sadness doesn't lessen over time. Definitely talk to your doctor if you are still feeling depressed beyond six weeks post-op.
• You are having thoughts of violence
• You are experienceing feelings of rage

Remember, there is no shame in being depressed. Depression is often caused by hormone or chemical imbalances, and it can be treated. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to seek treatment. You deserve to be happy!

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

How Should the Hysterectomy Site Look?

When I was released from the hospital two days post-hysterectomy, I thought I knew what to look for. The nurse explained that the incision site would turn slightly red, but that the redness should not extend more than 1/8 inch from the incision itself. So, I felt pretty confident in my ability to care for my incision, and I went on my way. That confidence lasted all of two days!

On one of my husband's nightly incision checks (because I couldn't see it over my swollen belly!), he nervously said, "It's yellow! And there are purple marks all over the place!" Yellow? Purple? Those colors weren't mentioned in my discharge papers, and panic set in. I was convinced I had some strange, unheard of infection or that my mega-doses of Motrin and Darvocet had destroyed my liver. I called the nurse and was immediately reassured.

Turns out, abdominal hysterectomy is a pretty brutal surgery. The doctor cuts through many layers. Ligaments and blood vessels are cut away from the uterus. Organs are moved and rearranged. Blood vessels are tied off. The top of the vagina is stitched. With all the cutting, moving, tying, and stitching, it's inevitable that some bruising and discoloration will occur. Some blood vessels will undoubtedly be broken. Just like any other bruising, these bruises must go through the normal healing process, and that involves changing colors: red, black, purple, and yellow. Some people bruise more easily than others, and the bruising shows more vividly on light-skinned people. Have I mentioned that I'm pale as a ghost?

Normal Signs

• Bruising
• Slight numbness around the incision
• Slight burning of the skin surrounding the incision (I felt this around my belly button, too)
• A hard, jagged ridge forming along the incision (this will eventually recede)
• Swollen tummy

Warning Signs

Still, the possibility of infection and other complications does exist, so you should learn the warning signs. Call your doctor if you notice:

• Pus draining from the incision site
• Fever of 101 degree F or higher
• Abdominal pain that does not improve with pain medication
• Dizziness
• Persistent headache
• Vomiting
• Burning with urination
• Muscle aches
• Redness extending more than 1/8 inch from the incision

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Start a Hobby Post-Hysterectomy

Face it-- you've got free time on your hands after a hysterectomy, lots and lots of free time. Yes, you'll be walking-- to the kitchen, to the bathroom, and, soon, around the neighborhood. Still, that time on your feet will be interspersed with tons of time off your feet. Sure, you could use that time checking out Victor's latest exploits on Young and the Restless (okay, so maybe I checked out a few episodes). You could use it watching Lifetime movie marathons. Or, you could use it to learn a new hobby! I, personally, am using my free time to learn about blogging. Here are a few other things you could try:

Reading & Writing

• Writing poetry
• Writing articles
• Writing letters
• Learning calligraphy
• Reading
• Journaling
• Word finds
• Crossword puzzles

Internet Hobbies

• Blogging
• Facebooking
• MySpace
• Learning web design

Paper & Photo Crafts

• Scrapbooking
• Rubberstamping
• Card making
• Painting
• Drawing
• Collaging
• Organizing photo albums
• Origami

Flower Crafts

• Potpourri
• Flower arranging
• Making wreaths

Fabric & Yarn Crafts

• Dollmaking
• Knitting
• Embroidery
• Quilting
• Cross stitch
• Needlepoint
• Crocheting
• Sewing
• Weaving
• Making potholders (simple kits for kids are great for beginners)

Bath & Beauty Crafts

• Nail design
• Making bath salts
• Jewelry making
• Beading

Games

• Chess
• Checkers
• Cards
• Dominoes
• Video Games

Have I missed something? Leave me a comment with your favorite post-hysterectomy hobby, and I'll add it to the list!

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Connect With Others Who've Had Hysterectomy

When I was considering having hysterectomy, I turned to one friend above everyone else. Not because she's smarter or kinder or a better listener (although she is smart, kind, and understanding), but because she's been there. She had a hysterectomy at a young age, for similar reasons... and she lived to tell about it! Even better, she's living a quality life now, far better than before the surgery. Without her support and her story, I might never have been able to face this surgery.

If you don't actually know anyone in real life who has had a hysterectomy, turn to the internet. There is a wonderful community of women online, all sharing their experiences. Friendships form fast in these forums, and the support is invaluable. I urge you to jump out there and take part in a hysterectomy forum! Here are some to try:

• Hyster Sisters. This is a wonderful resource! If you visit only one hysterectomy site (besides this one, of course), it should be Hyster Sisters. You'll find articles, a store, and a warm, closeknit forum.
• Hyster Hangout. Hyster Hangout features a message board of women facing hysterectomy, as well as women who have already had surgery.
• Hysterectomy Recovery Room. This forum is in its infancy, and there are few posts. While this might not be the best place to go for advice, it could be excellent if you're looking for a smaller, more intimate community.

There is life after hysterectomy... and it's good. Enjoy!

Hysterectomy Glossary

When it comes to hysterectomy, there is a whole other language, and knowing the key terms is essential. Seriously, it could save your life... or your ovaries! When I went in for my pre-op visit, the surgical orders stated, "tah w/ bso". Hold up! No, no definite bso here. I was able to get the word "possible" added in, and ended up saving my ovaries! So, you see, knowing the key terms can be pretty freaking helpful!

• Bilateral Salpingo-Oophorectomy (bas): Surgical removal of both fallopian tubes and ovaries.
• Cervix: The mouth of the uterus; a narrow canal that opens to the vagina.
• Complete Hysterectomy: Also called total hysterectomy, complete hysterectomy is the removal of the entire uterus, including the cervix.
• Laparoscopic Supracervical Hysterectomy (LSH): A hysterectomy which removes the uterus, but leaves the cervix, and is performed through three small incisions.
• Hysterectomy: Hysterectomy is the surgical removal of the uterus. There are many different types of hysterectomies and different ways of performing the surgery.
• Partial Hysterectomy: Partial hysterectomy is also called subtotal hysterectomy. It is removing part of the uterus, but leaving the cervix intact.
• Oophorectomy: Surgical removal of one or both ovaries.
• Radical Hysterectomy: Normally performed on women with cancer, radical hysterectomy removes the uterus, cervix, ovaries, fallopian tubes, lymph nodes, lymph channels, part of the vagina, and surrounding tissues.
• Supracervical Hysterectomy: Another name for partial hysterectomy.
• Surgical Menopause: Menopausal symptoms brought on adruptly by the surgical removal of the ovaries.
• Swelly Belly: A term coined by Hyster Sisters to describe the swollen abdomen many women have following hysterectomy.
• Total Abdominal Hysterectomy (tah): Removal of the uterus and the cervix through an incision in the abdomen.
• Vaginal Hysterectomy: Surgical removal of the uterus through an incision in the vagina.
  

Even Moms Mourn After Hysterectomy

If one more person tells me that I have three kids, I will scream. The implication is, of course, that I have kids, so I shouldn't care that I no longer have a uterus. It is so frustrating! Yes, I have kids. Yes, I'm thrilled about that. Yes, my family was probably complete. But, the possibility existed, the possibility of more children. Just knowing that I could dream about it... I could fantasize sometimes about having a son or another beautiful daughter... I could hold a baby and think, "someday..."

Now, I know there will never be another someday for me. My somedays are dead and gone, nothing but sweet memories, a precious time that passed so quickly. I'll never again snuggle an infant of my own, I'll never again experience the life-giving thrill of nursing my own flesh and blood. Never again...

Although people act like I'm nuts, that's a real loss for me and I'm mourning it. Faulty or not, that uterus nurtured and grew my daughters, and now it's gone. So, if one more person tells me, "So what if you lost your uterus? You weren't using it anyway!" I just might have to reply, "So, why don't you give up your heart? You clearly aren't using it!"

Reasons to Have an Abdominal Hysterectomy

When I first seriously discussed hysterectomy with my doctor, I was astonished when he said total abdominal hysterectomy would be his method of choice. With all the less invasive versions available today, such as the Da Vinci, vaginal, or laproscopic, the abdominal surgery seems positively primitive! The incision is larger, the hospital stay is longer, and the recovery period is more painful. Turns out, there are actually reasons for some women to have the old-fashioned abdominal hysterectomy, though.

When I asked my doctor why he wouldn't do the surgery vaginally, he told me, "I'm not going to pull your uterus out through your vagina just to prove I can." He went on to explain that the possibility of damage to the bladder, urinary tract, blood vessels, and surrounding organs is significantly higher in vaginal hysterectomy than in the traditional abdominal method.

In addition, abdominal hysterectomy is preferred in cases of severe endometriosis. In these cases, the surgeon needs to be able to fully explore the ovaries, bowels, and surrounding organs to ensure that all the endo has been removed. This helps prevent recurrence.

Other times abdominal surgery may be needed include:

*Other need for abdominal exploration
*Enlarged uterus
*Cancer
*Obese patients
*Large fibroids

In the end, only you and your doctor can decide on the correct method for you. Whatever you decide, good luck!

After Hysterectomy, I'm Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving! The day would not be complete without a list of things I'm thankful for, so here goes:

1. My husband... he has been so supportive and loving through this ordeal, insisting I stay off my feet as much as possible (like I'm going to argue with that!)

2. My kids... they've been good through this, too (for the most part), keeping their fighting, "Mama, she started it!", and daily drama to a minimum.

3. My Swelly Belly... it came in the mail today and it's sooooooo great.

4. My doctor's skillful hands...

5. God for guiding my doctor's hands.

6. The makers of Darvocet for getting me through the first days post-op.

7. The mind's ability to forget... I barely recall those first moments after surgery.

8. Sweat pants, tee shirts, and loose nightgowns... you can never have too many comfy clothes post-op.

9. My heating pad... we've spent many quality hours together this year.

10. That I get to work at home, doing what I love.

11. That I have children at all... with my infertility troubles, I really never thought I'd be blessed with kids.

12. The days ahead, pain- and period-free.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

On My Mind Post-Hysterectomy

Now that I'm approaching two weeks post-op, I have lots of questions. Actually, I'm having trouble even sleeping, there's so much on my mind! Here are just a few of the things I finding myself pondering at 2am:

1. Will I ever have a semi-normal looking belly again?
2. Will these hot flashes continue?
3. Will I need hormone therapy despite keeping my ovaries?
4. Am I still a "real" woman?
5. Will I still desire sex?
6. Will orgasms feel the same?
7. What will sex without pain be like?
8. Will be husband desire me now that I'm "incomplete"?
9. Since I still have my ovaries and will, in theory, still ovulate, will I have PMS?

Things I Wish I Had Known Before Hysterectomy

There are so many things I wish I'd known before surgery. I'm learning new things each and every day. Here are just a few:

1. Even though I chose this surgery, there will be moments I will grieve-- painfully-- for my uterus.

2. In moments like that, I'll feel like curling up in a ball and bawling... but I won't be able to... pain prevents me from getting in that position!

3. Surgery proves who cares... and who doesn't.

4. God really does have a weird sense of humor. This is illustrated by the fact that I now look six months pregnant.

5. The incision really is way down in the nether regions and it really is healing nicely. Just as promised, my doctor has left me totally worthy of sexy lingerie... well, except for the bloated tummy, jiggly thighs.... oh, never mind!

6. Abdominal surgery leaves you constipated... very, very constipated.

7. You can literally feel your organs moving around... and it's a wicked feeling. (Wear your binder!)

8. You will be a big, fat farting gasbag, so embrace your inner guy.

9. Despite the doctor's mantra of "Female empowerment" and the thrill you feel over taking charge of your health and your pain, there will be moments of supreme self-doubt.

What about you... what do you wish you had known?

After Hysterectomy, You Must Rest

It sounds like common sense, but it needs to be said: if you feel tired, rest! We are women and we like to be useful... we like to be productive, we like to take care of others, we like to be part of the action, we like to do. We feel lazy and selfish when we sit around, watching others do the work.

If there's ever a time for "laziness" and "selfishness", though, it's after a hysterectomy. Your body has been through hell, and it needs time to recover. Your emotions have been through the wringer, too, and they also need time to adjust. Think of this self-care period as an investment in your future: if you take the time to take care of yourself, you'll recovery more fully, possibly need less pain medications, and be less likely to do damages that will require follow-up surgery.

Know Your Limits Post-Op

I woke up this morning to the sound of someone banging on my front door, banging as though they were about to kick it in. Without thinking, I jumped out of bed and ran to the door... and found a couple of ladies wanting to share "the beauty of Christ's love". As soon as I realized I was in no harm and the adrenaline rush died down, I was in horrible pain. I felt like my insides were being ripped to pieces.

While it is important to be increasingly active after your surgery, it's even more important to know your own limits and to listen to your body. If something hurts, don't do it! Pain is a definite sign that you've done too much. Increased vaginal bleeding is another dead giveaway. In the early weeks post-op, avoid:

*Lifting more than five pounds
*Running
*Stretching
*Sex
*Sudden, quick movements
*Anything that causes pain and discomfort

Support Your Friend Before Hysterectomy

In the days leading up to my hysterectomy, I was a nervous wreck. I babbled incessantly about all the things that could go wrong and all the what ifs. I had a total one-track mind, and friends and the hubster learned way more about my uterus than they ever really needed to know. But, you know what? They all listened, they all pretended each and every time that this was a new conversation... and it helped so much.

Talking the issues through helped me to realize that some of the fears were a bit unfounded and that some of the possible risks were worth the payoff. One friend in particular took a very analytical approach to my fears, helping me to take the anxiety from the abstract to the concrete. She'd say, "What, exactly, are you worried about?" When I told her I was afraid the anesthesia wouldn't work and I'd wake up during surgery, she pointed out that I've been under general anesthesia before with no complications. Sounds simple, but it really eased my mind.

If someone you love is facing hysterectomy, here are some tips:

*Listen, without fail.
*Use humor as appropriate, but do not mock her fears.
*Try to pinpoint the source of her fear. Specific issues are easier to deal with than general anxiety.
*Do research and help educate her on the likelihood of complications.
*Help her make plans for the post-op period. Preparation definitelys helps cut through anxiety.
*Take her mind off the surgery. The weekend before my surgery, a friend invited several women over for a girls' night. Take her out, spend time with her, do something fun!

More than anything else, just be there.

Wear Your Stomach Binder

After hysterectomy, your stomach is sore and swollen. There's this odd sensation that your internal organs are moving-- and they are. The organs are moving slightly, filling in the space your uterus used to occupy. Sometimes I feel like I have to hold my belly to keep everything inside!

Now I'm realizing that my stomach binder is my best friend. It's large and intrusive, a white velcro-covered wrap that goes all the way around my belly, holding things in place. It shows under my clothes. I don't care, though-- it works! The wrap provides support and makes walking less painful.

Since I haven't been cleared for driving yet and I'm not looking to win any fashion shows, I'm not really worried about the looks of it. For someone who needs less intrusive support, Hyster Sisters makes a cool Swelly Belly Band. I haven't tried it yet, but it's definitely on my wish list. Have you tried it? Let me know how it works!

Post-Hysterectomy Gas

There were so many things I didn't know before my surgery. One of those little tidbits I was ignorant of was the gas. Pass gas, poot, fart... whatever you call it, you're going to be doing it for days and days after the surgery. And that's a good thing... really.

Many, many of your bodily functions will be sluggish after abdominal surgery, and that includes passing gas. Trust me, you'll feel much better when you do! It's important to pass the gas, but it isn't always easy.

Walking helps-- a lot. As soon as your doctor/nurse says it's safe, start moving. It helps with the elimination of gas, and also decreases gas overall. Avoiding spicy and gas-producing foods immediately before and after the surgery helps, too. If you are uncomfortable, see if your doctor will allow gas relief medications, like Gas-X.

Don't Dismiss Her Hysterectomy Concerns

Right before my surgery, I told a friend that I was nervous. Her response? "It's a really common surgery!" Now, I'm sure she was trying to reassure, maybe trying to tell me that it's a routine procedure and there will be no complications. That's not how I took it, though! I felt dismissed, like she didn't care about my feelings at all. I felt minimized and pushed aside, like I should just dispose of my uterus and get over it already. Not a good feeling. The thing is, it's not common to me. This is my only uterus and, faulty or not, losing it was emotional.

So, if someone close to you is facing hysterectomy, don't wave away her worries. Especially for women still in their childbearing years, this is emotional stuff.

How to Help After Hysterectomy

I didn't realize just how good my friends were until I faced my surgery. I have no family and my husband's family is overseas, so surgery was an ultra-daunting prospect. I was scared to death that my husband would not be able to come to the hospital, that he would have to stay home with our kids instead. The day of surgery, two friends divided the hours, providing care and entertainment to our kids. They took care of the girls for hours each day so that hubby could visit me. After I returned home, another friend sent a housekeeper over to take care of cleaning! I have never felt so loved. It really allowed me to relax and focus on healing.

If you're looking for ways to help your friend, consider these:

*Cook freezable meals and bring over (casseroles are excellent for this)
*Offer to drive your friend places (she will not be able to drive for weeks)
*Drive her children to activities
*Offer to take the kids for a couple of hours so she can rest
*Provide "quiet activity kits" for her kids
*Offer to vacuum, mop, and sweep (she won't be able to stretch)
*Do her laundry
*Call her, visit her

Being There Before the Hysterectomy

If someone you know is having a hysterectomy, she might not know how to ask for help. Trust me, she needs help! There are so many ways you can help, it doesn't even have to be something major. Probably the biggest thing you can offer is your support. Hysterectomy is a big deal, and it can be frightening and highly emotional. Just being there, lending an ear and a shoulder, can be worth so much. Remember your friend is facing some fears that might seem illogical to you-- don't laugh! In the days leading up to my surgery, I had this horrible fear that I would remain alert and feeling during the procedure, and that the doctor wouldn't know! Sounds silly, I know now, but it kept me awake several nights in a row. Just be willing to listen and to reassure as needed...

Goodbye To My Uterus

I'm 32, and I'm one week post-op. I had a total abdominal hysterectomy. I have such mixed feelings right now, and by that I mean I'm having total mood swings about it! In one moment, I'm looking forward to a life without periods and pain, but in the next I'm seeing a beautiful baby and mourning the fact that I'll never have another one. Sure, I have three kids and odds are, I wouldn't have wanted another one, but still.... just knowing it was possible...

At this point, things are too new for me to really say much about the results of my surgery, but I plan to chronicle the journey here. You'll learn more about what led me to have such drastic surgery at this age... you'll learn about options for women facing this life-altering decision... and you'll learn about my life without a uterus!